I have this incredible posse of girlfriends. They are an unusually powerful, free thinking, introspective, independent and sexy group. I am surrounded by women who are generators of ideas, and who march through this world with an expectation of nothing less than lighting it up. Each of them is a Fourth of July fire works display. And they do light up the sky...all of them, in their own unique way. They are innovators of change, while many hold traditional roles in the mix of creating new ones. Yesterday I spent the day with three of them. I include my sister in that. If you read SHAMELESS - they are "The Martini Circle". We were walking along the beach - "Scarlet Women" - one of them called us. We were all sexing in some way out of the box...so to speak. I trailed for a little while behind them, listening to them talk. These sturdy, curvaceous bodies...their round asses swaying in front of me. My friends are not cookie cutter women ( not this group and not the ones that I have scattered all over this country). I could feel their power. Their discontent - their determination to have something important and rich in their lives that activated them. Whether it was their life partners or lovers - their jobs - or how they spent their leisure time - their kids or even how they loved each other.
I felt quiet around them. One thought that I was off my game. I was not....not really. Not anymore than normal - anyway. I was just taking them all in...feeling them. Looking at my life in relation to theirs. We were all so the same...we were all so different. We were united in an imperative to no longer accept what we have been fed about our roles - and what should make us happy. We were willing to take what some might seem as unacceptable risks to not have unacceptable lives.
In some ways, I found it exhausting. The hunger in us was palpable to me. The determination to do better than simply get by - was overwhelming. There was also this underlying anger that kept resurfacing in our conversations. We had been fed some kind of a story....and as I said to one of them....the story might have worked if we had died in child birth. But we didn’t. We have lived on to be young in our middle years during a time when we would have been old or gone. We are mapping out a new middle age where the old rules simply don’t feel like they fit our souls anymore.
These New York girlfriends of mine, are not so different from my other female friends. All of them are facing change in one way or another - or creating the change that they face. We are all yearning for something. There is a kind of journey quest going on upon my friends...this group of forty or fifty something women. I might even call it a "movement". What would satisfy us years ago in the love department - bores us now. We are wanting something more. We are offering something more. There is this under current upon all of us - that we don’t want what "turned us on" when we were of reproductive age. Those moves won’t make us swoon anymore. The men have to dig deeper. And they have to be willing to allow us to impregnate them this time around. It is not just about them fucking us. There is a richness to these women....a priestess quality to all of them. I wonder will these men are who have shown up to hold them..or will show up. Because they will. I wonder how could they pass up such a deep level of sexiness. The hotness of these women comes from a burning place inside of their bodies and simply radiates out. No, these cannot be ordinary men - looking for that special skinny 25 year old that they can make swoon in order to feel masculine. Not the men that are showing up for my posse of mid life sirens. No...they are independent thinkers. They are open to a new kind of feminine power and feminine surrender.....and these "new" men will want to drink from us too...they will want us to fill them up and plant gardens in their male wombs...because these men will be giving birth too in a brand new way.
I do not know what I would do without my posse of female beauties who I love all over this country. I could not be and become who I will shall unfold into when I die without them. And I could never let them walk alone either...unless they wanted to. My red hot, sexy, free thinking out of the box girlfriends - give me the strength and the courage to be me. And I hope that I love each of them back with the same veracious energy that they so generously bestow on me. I hope that I give them the same courage, by sharing my out of the box life with them - to dance naked under the stars and shake their delicious mid life asses for all the world to see
