Here's the thing, if you really really want to hide - you can. You can hide from the mirror. You can hide in the dark and in baggy clothes. You can hide your sexuality from yourself and from the world. If you want to hide, you can hide. And hiding in plain sight is a special talent. But we practice it. We learn to put on masks and be seen just the way we think the world needs to see us if we want to be accepted. We hide out of own vulnerability - and the fear of rejection and ridicule. But that doesn't change our desires. Even while we're hiding we want. We may want to be desired. We may want to desire. We may want more in our lives - and we may really want the capability to have full erotic expression.
So many of us think that we are broken sexually and undesirable. One of the most important lessons I have learned about sex and bodies is that there is a body out there for everyone! Some people think that skinny, hard bodies with small breasts is the hottest thing around. And other people think that soft, curvy big breasted women are what they want to dive into. We like men with body hair and bald heads and men with long hair with wiry beards. Bodies are sexy and they are all different. And there are plenty of people who will think you are sexy if you think you are sexy. But you may be too busy figuring out how to hide to notice.
Not only do too many of us think we are repulsive naked, but we are convinced that we are incapable of "doing sex right".
There is this fear that we don't know how to touch, or be sexual. There is this fear that no one would want to see us naked or touch us in a way that would give us pleasure - even if we knew what that was.
Here is the truth: Being sexual is vulnerable. It does usually involve being naked and being seen. It's really hard to be fully sexual and hide at the same time - but it's amazing how many people do manage that skill! They learn to separate their body from their mind. And if you can manage that skill - that really difficult skill of enduring sex - imagine what it could be like to embrace your vulnerability and take on pleasure?
Most people in the world don't know what their body is capable of when it comes to sensual pleasure. It's no one's fault, and no one is broken. We are simply not taught how to give touch or how to receive touch. And I don't think we can learn this through videos or books. Not really. I think we learn this by doing, by receiving, by practice and by example. My favorite part of any retreat, is hearing a woman say: "I didn't know that I could feel that. I didn't know that this kind of pleasure was available to me." And then watching their entire life begin to shift.
If you really want to hide, you can hide forever. Or you can embrace your vulnerability, welcome in fear and take a step towards being seen. It's like taking a step towards healing, pleasure and transformation.
One step might be to join my "Shameless Community".
It usually costs $25.00 to join. But put in the words "Hide and Seek Offer" in your profile, and I will invite you in as my gift.
Go ahead. Take a step. Come out of hiding.
Loving you from here,
Pamela
