I was introduced to what is known as "Edging", "Peaking, Surfing, or even "Orgasm Control" in my training as a sex educator. And I have to admit that it is one of my favorite pleasures. I love to introduce sexual technique to women at Back to the Body: Sensuous Retreats for Women couples in private retreats, workshops and coaching sessions. Frankly, I personally enjoy surfing it's pleasures and exquisite torment. It is my favorite dish! Extended Orgasm is a sexual technique which may be practiced either alone or with a partner and involves the keeping the recipient of the pleasure in a high level of erotic arousal for an extended period of time while not letting them climax or orgasm. This can go on for a period of minutes or hours or even days!
When the choice is made to allow the recipient to climax or orgasm the physical sensations may be much more explosive, expanded and frankly more pleasurable than if the orgasm were experienced with it's usually build up and release. But there is much pleasure in the play!
Some people have described the experience of being kept in heightened states of arousal for long periods of time as producing euphoric states and altered streams of consciousness like "Erotic Trance". Orgasm control prolongs our pleasure and heightens the experience of sexual sensations that occur during the final build-up to orgasm. It's a powerful experience for both the giver and the receiver whether you are "in control" of your partners climax or if you are the one delaying your own release.
Orgasm Edging Tips:
1. If you are going to share this with a partner, I would start with full body touch, almost like giving a massage. "The Giver" gradually move towards the genitals and would stimulate "The Receiver" with hands, fingers, sex toys, gradually bringing them up to the point high in the plateau phase of sexual response where an orgasm is actually building. Then "The Giver" would gradually move away from the genitals and move the energy to other parts of the body or simply reduce the level of stimulation to just below that needed to set off the climax or orgasm.
2. Another way of playing with this is to give control of the orgasm to "The Giver" and play with something called "Orgasm Denial". With this lovely game, orgasm is not allowed for even longer periods of time in order to develop an increased level of sexual tension. Remember that "Orgasm Games" can take some practice. Both the giver and the receiver have to really get to know each others responses. But by carefully varying the intensity, depth, techniques and speed of stimulation and lots of practice a "receiver" can be held in the highly aroused state near orgasm for an extraordinarily long time. When the orgasm or climax is "allowed" it can be described as "earth shaking" or even "overwhelming".
3. You can even bring in elements of "Fifty Shades of Grey" if you choose to experiment that way. Some people enjoy creating an additional layer of power elements into this game and the person who is receiving the extended pleasure, or denial is called the "Submissive" can be even be put into restraints and or blindfolds for an added rush of not being in control. The technical term for this game is "Tie and Tease" or "Tie and Deny".
4. You can play alone! Orgasm control is a way to be more creative with solo touch practices and can also be a great training ground for our own personal orgasmic responses. Masturbation or "Self Pleasuring" allows each of us to learn our own orgasmic response and practice having control over timing, the kind of touch we enjoy, speed of stimulation and our feelings in getting close to orgasm and then backing off and starting again. The term "edging" has been more closely associated with the solo practice where we experiment with stimulation until we reach that place right before climax happens (the plateau phase) and then we just stop or back off the stimulation just before orgasm occurs.
Self Pleasuring is a great training ground for people who want to play this game with a partner because you are in control of your own intensity and don't have to rely on a partner to "guess" where you are in the game. Playing alone is also a wonderful way not only to vary self pleasuring but it's also an easy way to learn your own capacity and limits in edging.
Playing with Orgasm Control or Extended Orgasm or any of the variations of these games are all about making every stroke count. This is all about heightening pleasure. When we play with our arousal we are not just trying to "get off". We are turning orgasm into a feast instead of something to get done. Arousal can become an unexplored lands of moans, groans, giggles, laughter, power play, and ecstatic trance states. It's a beautiful way to build communication and a sense of playfulness between partners and interesting enough when "The Giver" learns to spread the arousal and sensation all over "The Receivers" body there is a learning that our erotic response is not just held in our genitals. It can be found in all the parts of our bodies like soles of feet, nipples. lips, and arm pits in equal parts! My invitation to you is to explore your orgasm! It can be more than something to get done. It can be a surf board to ride!
