What is a Turned On Woman?

There is a lot of talk about being a "Turned On" woman. But what exactly is that? To me, it's a woman who has figured out that sex is learning how to be a courtesan for herself first.

It's about taking the time to look inside at that magical, mystical place in our own bodies.

Once we figure out how to do that, a turned on woman will develop a deeper connection to her own sexual engine and be able to take that power source out into the world for the good of her family, friends, and community.

Now that's hot. That's turned on.

Loving you from here,

Pamela

PS. Are you standing on the side lines? Do you want some ideas, or a yellow brick road to step onto?

Sometimes you just need to be willing to do something different and bold to begin to turn on, change your perspective or reboot your engine. Come on! It's Spring! Here are some ideas and resources:

1.  Ron Stewart (http://www.skyclad.ca/) and I are running workshops and offering private sessions on the East Coast from Monday, April 22nd through May 5th.  You can find information about the workshop in Philadelphia here on Wednesday, April 23 in Bryn Mawr at 7pm 

Ron and are are offering private sessions for singles and couple on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday in the area in the Bryn Mawr area and NJ. Please contact me for more details at Pamela@backtothebody.org

On Friday, April 25th we are in NYC (SoHo) where we will be offering two workshops on Saturday evening at 6:30 until 9:30pm and and Sunday evening from 6:30 to 9:30pm. The workshops are open to all. You can find the complete information on the workshops here. 

Come as a way to connect back to yourself, play, and feel sexy! These workshops are clothing on. You don't need a partner, and you can bring one!

2. Ron and I are offering private sessions from Monday April 18th through May 5th in the NYC area. If you are interested in a private session for yourself or as a couple please email me as soon as possible to discuss - we are booking up but we still have time availability to make this happen for you and take you off the side lines! Women are literally flying in from all over the country to join us in NYC. Are you local? What's stopping you? Call me. Let's move that obstacle! We are creating VIP Days for women to have the exclusive full attention of Ron and myself from 10 to 7pm! Curious? Email me at Pamela@backtothebody.org

3. Have you listened to my CD yet? "Shameless Sex, Self and Love Meditation?" It might be a great start for you! You can find it here.

4. Have you read my book yet? "Shameless: How I Ditched The Diet, Got Naked, Found True Pleasure and Somehow Got Home in Time to Cook Dinner?" You can find it here.

5. Have you ever considered attending one of our retreats? Back to The Body: Sensuous Retreats For Women has openings for our July and Tuscany Retreat in late September.

6. Just want to talk with me? Consider a free consult. We have so many ways to step off the side lines and live your life as a woman in full. Just send an email at Pamela@backtothebody.org

Falling Into The Gap: An Exploration of Mindful Touch and The Pleasure of Surrendered Receiving

Join Internationally known Sex Educators Pamela Madsen and Ron Stewart for an extraordinary workshop on the tools of touch and embodiment. The key to a delicious sex life with your partner or with yourself is understanding how to give and receive touch. Our fingers, our eyes, and our breath are all tools for connection. This seems basic and yet most of us have never been taught these skills. It’s all suppose to come “naturally”. Falling Into The Gap: An Exploration of Mindful Touch and The Pleasure of Surrendered Receiving

This clothes on workshop invites intrepid explorers (singles and couples) of all ages, genders and sexual orientations to learn with us in a playful and non-threatening environment.

Participants will discover that both the giving and receiving of touch is not only fun and delicious, it’s also transformational and healing. Through a series of mini-lectures, demonstrations, movement, breath and touch exercises, we will open our hearts to what is possible through the power of touch.

What you will explore:

* Communication and Boundaries -. Overcome the fear of setting limits and be comfortable with your own boundaries. Explore your own “pleasure ceiling”, and challenge yourself to raise it.

* Mindful Practices - Movement, breath and meditations will be offered to help participants become present to the subtleties of giving and receiving touch.

* Touch Explorations - Through guided exercises, improve your touch skills and deepen your capacity to connect with self or partner(s).

* Receiving Pleasure - Utilizing conscious relaxation,verbal/non-verbal communication and active receiving, we will heighten our ability to become more present to pleasure.

Date: April 27th, 2014 Time: 6:30pm to 9:30pm Location: 115 Wooster Street in SoHo NYC Buzzer Apt 2F Cost: $35.00 Reservations are required: To reserve your spot and to ask any questions please contact Pamela Madsen at 917 703 3785 or email at Pamela@backtothebody.org  AND you can register on Facebook here: https://www.facebook.com/events/1383597568549034/

Please wear comfortable clothing. We will be doing gentle, easy movements that most people will be able to participate in. This workshop involves no nudity.

Exploring The Connection between Yoga (mindful movement) Meditation & our Sensual Body: An Interactive Play Shop For Conscious Adults

Join internationally known sex educators, Pamela Madsen and Ron Stewart for an evening of movement, breath and bliss. “Exploring The Connection between Yoga (mindful movement) Meditation & our Sensual Body: An Interactive Play Shop For Conscious Adults”

This clothed workshop will take on the latest in scientific and somatic explorations in pleasure, arousal and body bliss states. The latest research has documented what many sex education pioneers already know: that states similar to orgasmic bliss can be found through meditation and mindful movement practice. By learning how to connect to these trance states through meditation and yoga, you are able to access arousal states that you can bring into your every day life and your bedroom. Yes, you can OM your way to a more delicious orgasm with yourself or with a partner.

In this workshop you will experience:

The benefits of being in aroused and enlivened states

You will experience in a safe and non erotic way, the path to stimulating the dopamine stream with or without a partner

Experience simple exercises through intention, movement and meditation to help convert arousal energy into life force action

Understand practices that will help you connect your genitals to your yoga and meditation practices.

Explore sensual energy as a part of a spiritual practice of meditation and manifestation

Learn how using these tools of enlivenment can lift veils of invisibility from our lives and improve self-image, enhance self-confidence.

Introduce an entirely new language that re frames the full erotic experience

To learn more about this idea please check out this article on Psychology Today: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/shameless-woman/201203/your-brain-sex-or-meditation

Date: April 26th, 2014 Time: 6:30pm to 9:30pm Location: The workshop will be held in a studio on at 115 Wooster Street in SoHo NYC Ring buzzer Apt 2F Cost: $35.00 Reservations are required: To reserve your spot and to ask any questions please contact Pamela Madsen at 917 703 3785 or email at Pamela@backtothebody.org

Who is this workshop for? Men and Women (all gender orientations and sexual orientations). Please wear comfortable clothing as we will be moving. You do not need to know Yoga or have high levels of physical fitness in order to participate fully in this workshop. We will be doing gentle, easy movements that most people will be able to participate in. This workshop involves no nudity.

To register via Facebook; please go here https://www.facebook.com/events/491648247607283/ or send Pamela and email with your phone number at Pamela@backtothebody.org

To Learn more about Pamela Madsen please visit http://www.PamelaMadsen.org/ and to learn more about Ron Stewart please visit http://skyclad.ca/

Kintsukuroi and The Heart/Vagina Connection

My day is often filled with speaking with women who are trying to connect to their vaginas. Some of the women that I speak with find it hard to get through the conversation without feeling physically ill. They may get a headache or an upset stomach. Some speak of an inability to feel their own vagina or any sense of aliveness in their genitals. Some are willing to make peace with this feeling, others sense that there is so much more life in their bodies and that somehow it is related to this somewhat unknown place between their legs. The feel a sense of  disconnection or brokenness.

And I keep coming back this week to this art form called Kintsukuroi.  This idea that an object can be made more beautiful after it's broken. It's value is not diminished, in fact the filling in of gold, silver or lacquer is used not only to repair, but makes the object more beautiful. What a metaphor for so much in our lives.

This is what I have learned. Our hearts can stretch to hold love, grief, devotion, and dreams. Our hearts can sacrifice, forgive and remember. And I believe that in female bodied persons, so can our vaginas.

We just have to be able to listen. And we have not been taught to listen to our own vaginas. So somehow we are getting static on this incredible line from our vaginas to our hearts and then back again to our vaginas. You see, they are wired together.

If we are feeling physical illness, numbness, and fear when we think about connecting to our own vaginas it's time to stop and listen deeply. Trust your vagina the way you trust your heart. Sometimes, we will need to practice Kintsukuroi and support the places that have worn thin with gold or silver. It just makes what we have more beautiful and more valuable.

And if your vagina is screaming at your heart to go away - listen to that too with a different ear. Why is she so scared and shut down? Perhaps it is time, to hear her pain and softly begin to coax her out of hiding. Speak to her about the practice of Kintsukuroi and tell her that you will go and get some gold, or silver.

After all, your vagina will ache for you, bleed for you, open for you and shut down to protect you. Pay attention to her. She has stories to tell you. Truths to share. She is valuable.

And sometimes, her silence is a cry for help.

Loving you from here,

Pamela

Learning to Receive is a Lover Tool

When people ask me about becoming a better lover; the first thing I ask them about is their ability to receive. Learning to receive is a big one for so many and it's often the key to having a better relationship with our own bodies, our pleasure, and sharing with others. Worrying about "doing back" or running your thoughts about what you will do back when "it's your turn" may be running interference with your receptors. Or are you always vigilant and on guard when you are receiving?Do you trust your own ability to hold your own boundaries, or your partner to honor them?

What are you allowing to get through? Do you have a "Pleasure Ceiling"? How does your inability to truly receive effect your ability to give fully of your heart when you are actually giving? As one of my teaching partners, Ron Stewart recently said: "When you know how to receive more fully, some aspect of you knows how to give more fully, if you choose to".

Think about it. Are you running interference on your ability to receive? And how does that inadvertently affect your ability to fully give?

Join Pamela For a "Girls Day Out" at The Korean Spa in NJ and Seattle!

Dear Shameless Beauty, The journey began for me at a day out with the girls at a Korean Spa.  A day of getting naked and soaking in hot tubs with the girls. Getting scrubbed from top to bottom, meditating in fabulous crystal rooms and eating amazing Korean food. It's the ultimate "Girl's Day Out".

Now imagine doing this with me and a small group of like minded women! Do you like to laugh? Play? Talk about sex?

We will do all of that during our day together. And I will make sure that we take on:

Exercising our "wanting muscle"

Exploring our "Pleasure Ceilings"

Body Image and Sexuality

Speaking Our Desires

Creating a Pleasure Plan and Pleasure Manifesto

Sexological Body Work

Organic Orgasm

The Power of Arousal

Sex Magic

Relationships, Intimacy, Marriage and Dating

Fifty Shades of Grey Sex

And I will answer all of your intimate questions.

Details: Date: Friday, March 7th, 2014 at  King Spa 321 Commercial Avenue, Palisades Park, NJ

OR Friday, February 21st at  Olympus Spa, Lynnwood  WA

Time: 10:00 am to 5pm

The day includes:

Entry fee to Spa and access to all facilities

Massage and scrub

Foot massage or Alternate Treatment

Lunch

Snacks

And of course Pamela full on teaching, laughing and supporting you! Come retreat with me for the day, and get ready for the weekend in an entirely new way.

Imagine us playing, taking on the big and small stuff soaking in the pools, playing in the showers, sharing pleasure and possibility together.

Spots are limited: For more information and to hold your place - Please email Pamela at Pamela@backtothebody.org and put Shameless Girls Day Out in the subject line!

The Divine Temple of Sensual Bliss: The Massage Table

I was recently invited to a presentation about female sensual pleasure. They had all of these sexperts at the breakfast there to talk to us writers, bloggers and reporters about female arousal, sexuality, desire and orgasm. I love that - so I went. During a presentation - one of the sexperts quoted a survey that stated when women were given the choice between sex and a massage - they picked the massage! The study results got the desired response - everyone laughed and groaned. But not me. First of all - I hated the question - I mean why do we have to pick between two incredibly pleasurable activities - and then have the answer be used as a  commentary? But I knew why the study was done - and I knew the answer before it was given that  women would pick the massage over sex - and that the  sexperts were using that answer to show the sorry state of female sexuality. But really - no disrespect intended here - neither the survey makers or the sexperts really got it.  But I did. I don't mean to be bratty here - but I simply didn't draw the same conclusions.

I understood why the women picked massage as their first choice and it had nothing to do at all with the sorry state of female sexuality.  The answer was all about  being sex positive not sex negative! We just have to be willing to open up our  minds a little bit about what constitutes a sensuous and satisfying embodied activity.

What was missing from the understanding of the survey makers - and perhaps even from the sexperts who used this study as an example of women not wanting sex -  was that massage - even traditional massage - is a very sensuous and pleasurable activity that allows us to feel touch for a very extended amount of time without doing anything back!  The most traditional of massage experiences allows women to go  deeply into their bodies  - and receive  sensuous pleasure - that is all about them!

Most women don't get the opportunity to do this. To simply - get naked,  lie on a table and allow someone to touch them in a non erotic - yet sensuous safe way that gives pleasure for an extended amount of time. It is positively delicious - and for many women - this experience is  not as available as traditional sex.  So of course they picked massage over sex in the ill conceived  survey.  Women are not stupid!

It was a funny coincidence - but yesterday I also received an incredible massage  and I was again reminded of the spectacular  healing and delicious pleasure  that can happen on the massage table.  Yes - pleasure - pure and simple. Healing pleasure. And in my mind - in my experience - pleasure is not only healing - it is  transformational.

It had been a long time since I had climbed aboard a massage table and simply - magnificently - divinely - received one way healing touch. Oh - I have made lots of reasons why I haven't gone. There is the money - the time - and the fact that every once in a while - even I - the great SHAMELESS wonder has moments of body shame. So I deny myself what I know to be one of the most healing, restorative, regenerative , and pleasurable activities that I can think of - and that is receiving a massage.

I know that there can be  a lot of discomfort in recognizing and having a massage - something that we pay for - as something other than a therapeutic activity that we engage in because we have a bad back - or a pulled shoulder - or as a way for us to keep our muscles in shape as athletes.  Not many people are willing to say that they embrace massage as a way to give themselves pleasure. We are a pleasure denied society - that talks about pleasure a lot - and then puts a lot of taboos around it.  And anything that has nudity, touch and possibly money involved in it  - we have to put lots and lots of boundaries around - so that other  people will know that we are engaging in the activity for "medical purposes".

We don't want anyone to think - that possibly we are doing this for pleasure's sake only!

So let me help out on this one.  Pleasure is important. Pleasure can change your life. Sensuous pleasure is healing and feels great! Traditional non-erotic  massage is an incredible tool for getting reconnected with the power of pleasure that we can all have in our own bodies - and yes  - if it helps you justify the experience - it is healing!  And we don't have to do anything to receive this but show up and climb on the table.