A Peek Inside a Private Sexological Body Work Session

This morning, my client "Amy" met me for coffee and to check in before her final session Sexological Body Work session with my colleague Ron Stewart, Co-Founder of Back to the Body: Sensuous Retreats for Women, before she flew back to Florida. She read me her journal entries, and I was not only blown away by her sharing, but how amazing she looked. I asked her how she was feeling, and she said: "Whole, Satiated, Centered and at Peace". Ron and I have been in the NYC area running workshops and working privately with women, men and couples who are on their own journey back to their bodies.  Amy is one of the women who flew in from various parts of the country to work with us. I would describe her as lovely, fiercely independent, and in her forties. She is single and in transition in her relationship.

I got to know Amy after she decided to do one on one coaching with me through video skype. When the opportunity presented itself to do hands on work, she took the plunge and jumped in. She choose to do three sessions with us over three days. That meant that she got an hour with me to talk about it all, process, and then spend time with Ron having a traditional Sexological Body Work Session. We also shared a few meals together, and did a little sex toy shopping.

With her permission, here are a few excerpts from her journal and a follow up coaching session with me. Amy allowed me to share all of this because she wanted to support other women to take the leap, and change their lives.

"So I traveled to NYC today to start this mini-retreat to explore my sexuality. There is a part of me that thinks this is crazy and wondering what I’m doing. And although I’m a bit excited I can’t lie and say that I’m not having second thoughts right now. As it nears the time and VERY nervous and a bit anxious but I know that this is about me and being open to the experience so I go with it.

Meeting with Pam was good, centered me a bit before meeting with Ron and going into the hands on portion of my time. I’m guessing it’s because I’ve had massages before but I’m amazed at how easily I strip before Ron and get on the table.

The experience is amazing, Ron was really good at reading my body. He started with an extended massage which was perfect. I got comfortable with his touch and the idea of what we’re doing. I had my first orgasm and it was amazing. I experienced sensations I had never felt before and it was pretty spectacular. I told Pam and Ron that this was the first time I wasn’t self conscious about my body, perhaps it was because there is no relationship between Ron and I - not sure but it definitely allowed me to let go. I am hoping that I can carry that level of self confidence in my other sexual experiences.

I am glad that I came.

Session Two

Today’s experience was intense… I had shared that I was interested in playing a little bit with Domination so I got to experience a taste of that! I enjoyed it! Spanking (which I also really loved), anal play (WOW!)… and a lot more g-spot stimulation than yesterday. I think I had an orgasm for like an hour… there was an extended period of time where my body just shook. It felt like the urge to shudder was coming from the inside out and I felt it down to my toes. It was amazing… it was ALMOST too much - so hard to put into words. I have never experienced anything like that before.

At the end of the session Ron remarked on how responsive my body was, and I honestly didn’t know that I was responsive. Past experiences felt good but not body shattering, it was like there was a string from my nipples to my pussy and every time they were touched everything would clench. It was really surprising to me at how much I enjoyed everything, the last little bit of time all I could do was lay there and experience my pussy clenching and my nipples peaking… just amazing.

At first I thought I would just lay down and sleep for the afternoon but all of a sudden I’m ravenous and I have a ton of energy so I’m going to go outside and explore for a bit. :) Tonight is one of the workshops. I’m hoping that it will be a good experience.

Update - after a quick trip sightseeing I came back to the hotel and was knocked out, I slept for five or six hours straight. I guess this experience impacted me even more than I thought! And I guess, I found the cure for my insomnia! Something has definitely changed though… even while I was walking around today I noticed that my hips are swinging and my confidence has grown. Amazing what an orgasm can do!

Love."

Day 3 "I was curious about how today would turn out.  Yesterday was intense it was a life changing experience for me and last night and this morning I feel that delicious soreness of a body that was well used.  I woke up this morning feeling happy, I would even venture to say that I feel joyful.  I feel like I ‘fit’ in my own skin.  I shower, do my hair throw on my tightest skinny jeans, a sweater, leather jacket and almost knee high boots and I feel sexy.  It’s been a LONG time since I’ve felt this way.  I leave my hotel room to meet Pam with a smile on my face and she gives me one look and starts laughing… she says you look so happy and so pretty and I really feel it! :)

I was a bit nervous about today because I was so sore (my body simply wasn't used to all of this touch!) but Ron and I agree to start off slow and see how things go from there… after a bit Ron read my mind and brought out the Magic Wand… well there went my plan… I was soon begging for more.  Today was such a different experience from yesterday but another amazing one.  I had no idea my body was so responsive, I had no idea I could feel so deeply or intensely.  I had no idea that I could feel such pleasure where everything was centered on my breasts and my pussy to the extent that I felt pins and needles in my toes and my fingers.  How amazing is that?!  Coming out of today’s session I feel like I could run a 5k, my body feels alive, whole, centered and most importantly satiated.  Walking around on the streets of New York people are looking at me because I literally have a smile on my face.  It almost brings me to tears to know that I’m NOT broken, that I am a whole and complete woman who is just now scratching the surface in finding herself.

Pam and I have lunch and then walk to a nearby jewelry store.  I buy a beautiful piece of body jewelry… BODY JEWELRY!?  I mean so NOT like me, but putting it on I felt sexy and it’s a perfect tribute to this mini-retreat weekend.

Pam and I talked about my experience and about my decision to chose her to work with.  I told her that talking with her I felt heard, I felt validated and I felt she wouldn’t take any of my crap and I was right.  She pushed me in the right way and has helped me to start this amazing journey to find my sexuality, to understand my body and what it needs and to find myself.  I plan on attending the workshop tonight and hope to have more to tell of my story of Day 3.  In the meantime I owe so much to Pam and Ron for helping me to start this journey to finding myself."

Day 4 Heading Home

"I'm heading to JFK airport now and as I was getting ready this morning I was thinking about what I learned this weekend. 1. I learned that I'm not broken, in fact my body is extremely responsive to erotic touch. Who knew?! 2. I learned that I'm sexy and powerful in my skin. This one will take some time to get used to being comfortable with but I experienced it so I know it's there! 3. I learned that taking time for me is not selfish, it increases my capacity for love - both of myself and of others. 4. I learned that I am beautiful. 5. I learned that there is immense pleasure in being able to receive touch and equally as much pleasure being able to give touch. 6. I learned that there are men out there who are equally concerned with giving pleasure as they are receiving it.

This was an amazing discovery and I know that it is just the start of my journey. The question is really what do I do with this knowledge know and how does it change my current circumstances? Although I felt true and loving feelings for Chris is he the one for me? This morning, after some processing my instinct was no. But I know that I need to spend some time talking with him to be sure. I feel confident enough now that I can do that.

I can't thank Pam and Ron enough for this weekend. For opening my eyes and my body to my potential and for starting me on this journey to my own self discovery and wholeness. Next stop Tuscany! (I hope!)

Love."

And I can't thank Amy enough for showing up so fully and then allowing us to take a peek!

Relentless

Recently one of my clients called me "Relentless" as I held on to her ankles (virtually through Skype) as she struggled to make a big decision about moving forward in her journey.  She was scared of making the leap from thinking to doing. I’m experienced in that  and I was hanging in there to support her in her leap into open and integrated sexuality without life-threatening injuries. I wanted her courage so badly for her because I got exactly where she was in her life and I knew what was possible. I wanted that so badly for her that I was willing to be "Relentless".

I know how painful the body-less life can be because I spent so many years as a head. I was a beautiful head, but I was just a head.

The truth is there’s a better than even chance we’re more alike than not.

Dark hungers and darker fantasies? Got ‘em. Feeling weird even admitting them? Been there. Worried about feeling like a freak? Well, I survived those moments, too, and I’m here to tell you there’s nothing freakish about it.

The ultimate goal is to  free all of that up, and reconnect the body with your brain.

I not only teaching women to recognize arousal, help them look at it without shame and take progressive steps to begin the work of self-acceptance and embodiment.  I lead women on an exploration of their own true natures and helps them use sensual pleasure to heal the typical array of issues that afflict most of us. I mean everything from body dysmorphia, eating disorders, erratic sexual desire and general crankiness.

I connect them with resources and opportunities to take it even further.

I encourage women to tune into their bodies and sensations with "sex games" that they can play on their own in private or with a partner.  I show women through my own adventures, that it’s a fun trip worth taking.  

I get it. What I preach and teach defies easy categorization. I blend my education, personal experiences and share real life vignettes that can take women out of the world of sex how to books to a brand new relationship with their bodies and the world.

My purpose in the world is to leave breadcrumbs for women to follow on their own road to sexual wholeness. What I teach, embody, and cheer lead is unique to me.

I’ve spent thousands of dollars on unconventional sex ed--from countless sacred sexuality workshops to private sessions with sexual healers. My underground education ignited such liberating changes in the rest of my life, that I couldn't keep all of this a secret. My job is now to responsibly show other women what is possible when they let go and look at their sexuality in a brand new light.  

When women take a bite out of my offerings whether it is one on one coaching, or a Back to The Body Retreat, a VIP Day, Private Retreat or even just reading my book Shameless; I am offering women the insight and skills to love themselves just as they are. I want to help women shed the fear of their own desire and to be open to pleasure, things we’re not conditioned to do.

It's not about quid pro quos, no have-tos, no 365 positions to memorize to please your partner and get off. What I believe in is  the antithesis of the orgasm Olympics book. This is a one-of-a-kind work devoted to the concept of sensual pleasure as a transformational, healing tool.  

I know that denying desire comes at a cost to everyone –our partners, our families, even our career peers. I also know that losing the shackles of sexual shame, unabashedly grabbing erotic pleasure with both hands and integrating the sexual self can make any woman happier in the body she’s in.  No raw foods, fiber drinks, exercise programs or cleanses. And who in their right mind doesn’t want to be a happier woman?  Or be around one? Just ask my husband.

My desire is to safely shepherd women into the wilds of desire and throw open the door on the vast universe of diverse pleasures.  With empathy and a wink that can only come from someone who’s walked in their Birkenstocks (and traded them in for thigh-high leather boots), I’ll show each woman who comes across my path how to befriend her body, unearth her erotic self and welcome her in. It’s possible to have true pleasure in all spheres of their lives.

People seem to be starving for my particular brand of good-natured, open sexual plain speaking. Right now, it’s hard to find information that goes past the superficial without plunging right into scary. Women excited by the idea of sensual spanking, for instance, may find a beginner’s piece or two. But further investigation often takes them on a hair-pin turn directly to a dungeon and a flogging post. Too much, too fast and too alarming for a novice.  By contrast, I offer them ways to express their desires one safe step at a time. I gleefully and sensibly fill the yawning information gap.

I’m willing to take controversial stands. I propose that extended pleasure and the Organic Orgasm are more intriguing than female ejaculation and the g spot. I suggest that we’re so performance driven that we’re all suffering, needlessly, from orgasm anxiety. 

Here's what true. We all have our season of sexual discontent. We all have those seasons and they’re unpredictable. It’s a bit like climate change. For some the wintry itch erupts between boyfriends. For others there’s chill that hits in the middle of a pre-nup negotiation. Some get triggered during a marriage, after the kids have grown, post- divorce, the onset of peri-menopause and beyond.  

Basically, women struggle with this all the time. Why? The answer is complex but it boils down to the fact that our sexuality has been severed from the rest of who we are. That vital life force has been sanitized, shrink-wrapped and buried like pirate’s booty. Instead of the bracing zest of feminine erotic desire, we watch the Photo Shopped blemish-free girls get to play. They’re the entitled ones. They don’t look anything like most of us do when we catch our own reflections. The message? We, the ordinary mortals, aren’t deserving of pleasure. Not unless we lose weight, get that job or finish that project. Pleasure is constantly receding on the horizon of our own self-loathing. Self-denial is epidemic.

I am relentless about breaking this down. And I will hand Sleeping Beauty her first Red Bull.  And I don't mind if you call me "Relentless".

 

Welcome Goddess Ishtar: Spring Is All About Sexuality and Fertility

I'm not sure why we should be surprised that Pagans celebrated Goddess Ishtar in the Spring. After all, with her symbols the egg and the rabbit she was sending a very strong message:  Spring is all about sexuality and fertility. Why it should be surprising in any way that old time Christians in an attempt to convert pagan worshipers re-branded celebrations such as Easter from pagan rituals and Goddesses.  It's our human history; it's what we do. We like to change stories to suit our own needs. But in both Passover and Easter, the symbol of the egg is on stage.

Spring is all about the egg! It's a time of renewal and rebirth. A time that is rich with  sexuality and fertility. And I love saying that mid-life women stop making the egg and become the egg!

How can you become your own egg of creation in the Spring? Is it time to create a Pleasure Plan?Or go on an adventure?

So how are you going to use it? Can you imagine diving into as your own personal celebration of freedom, renewal and rebirth?

Whatever we choose in life, it requires an action. Is this a time of renewal in your life or rebirth? This Spring are you breaking bonds in an expression of  freedom as the Jews did in the story of Passover? What are you creating in an expression of fertility?

What rituals, and choices can you make to bring Spring into your body?

For me, I bought myself a butterfly necklace as a symbol of my own transformation and freedom this Spring. I love wearing it, it's a reminder of a change in my life. Sometimes, choosing a totem for an intention is very helpful and actually comforting. It can keep you on track.

Choose to put your attention on something. Is it your relationship with your body? How will you renew that? Or play in Spring time sexuality? Can you commit to something that will keep your focus on your goal?

The Spring is a rich time. Create an intention for your  Spring and then come dance in the flowers. Isn't it time for you to come out of your hibernation?

What is a Turned On Woman?

There is a lot of talk about being a "Turned On" woman. But what exactly is that? To me, it's a woman who has figured out that sex is learning how to be a courtesan for herself first.

It's about taking the time to look inside at that magical, mystical place in our own bodies.

Once we figure out how to do that, a turned on woman will develop a deeper connection to her own sexual engine and be able to take that power source out into the world for the good of her family, friends, and community.

Now that's hot. That's turned on.

Loving you from here,

Pamela

PS. Are you standing on the side lines? Do you want some ideas, or a yellow brick road to step onto?

Sometimes you just need to be willing to do something different and bold to begin to turn on, change your perspective or reboot your engine. Come on! It's Spring! Here are some ideas and resources:

1.  Ron Stewart (http://www.skyclad.ca/) and I are running workshops and offering private sessions on the East Coast from Monday, April 22nd through May 5th.  You can find information about the workshop in Philadelphia here on Wednesday, April 23 in Bryn Mawr at 7pm 

Ron and are are offering private sessions for singles and couple on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday in the area in the Bryn Mawr area and NJ. Please contact me for more details at Pamela@backtothebody.org

On Friday, April 25th we are in NYC (SoHo) where we will be offering two workshops on Saturday evening at 6:30 until 9:30pm and and Sunday evening from 6:30 to 9:30pm. The workshops are open to all. You can find the complete information on the workshops here. 

Come as a way to connect back to yourself, play, and feel sexy! These workshops are clothing on. You don't need a partner, and you can bring one!

2. Ron and I are offering private sessions from Monday April 18th through May 5th in the NYC area. If you are interested in a private session for yourself or as a couple please email me as soon as possible to discuss - we are booking up but we still have time availability to make this happen for you and take you off the side lines! Women are literally flying in from all over the country to join us in NYC. Are you local? What's stopping you? Call me. Let's move that obstacle! We are creating VIP Days for women to have the exclusive full attention of Ron and myself from 10 to 7pm! Curious? Email me at Pamela@backtothebody.org

3. Have you listened to my CD yet? "Shameless Sex, Self and Love Meditation?" It might be a great start for you! You can find it here.

4. Have you read my book yet? "Shameless: How I Ditched The Diet, Got Naked, Found True Pleasure and Somehow Got Home in Time to Cook Dinner?" You can find it here.

5. Have you ever considered attending one of our retreats? Back to The Body: Sensuous Retreats For Women has openings for our July and Tuscany Retreat in late September.

6. Just want to talk with me? Consider a free consult. We have so many ways to step off the side lines and live your life as a woman in full. Just send an email at Pamela@backtothebody.org

 

 

Searching For That Feeling of Aliveness

So many of us want to feel alive again. We are stuck in the patterns of our lives whether it work, family, relationships, or marriage. We may feel stuck in some kind of trauma that we can't seem to climb out of.  We are longing to reconnect with parts of ourselves that we have lost, forgotten or never got to explore. We may think it's about getting hot sex; it may be. But I think it's more about getting attention, feeling desire, dancing in a kind of excitement that we may have lost in our daily lives. When was the last time you felt yearning in your life for anything? Took a real risk, and jumped into an adventure? When I speak with women who are restless, feeling numb in their bodies, bored with their lives, wondering if this is all there is in their relationship with their sexuality; it becomes clear to me over and over again that they are not looking for another person, they are looking for who they become when they have new experiences.

I know this up close in personal as I shared in my memoir; "Shameless: How I Ditched The Diet, Got Naked, Found True Pleasure and Somehow Got Home in Time to Cook Dinner (Rodale, 2011). 

I am an explorer, but I am not reckless. I have a happy marriage of over 30 years, one that I wouldn't ditch for the world. But sometimes, I need to to ditch who I am in my marriage. I need to go out into the world, and become the other parts of me that I don't even know yet.

That's often when I feel my most alive, and for me a path to feeling aliveness has been through the erotic. I have wanted, and continue to desire to experience all of my new selves in a way that doesn't interfere with my marriage. And many women are single and want to have more aliveness too.  These feelings are not so different in marriages or in singleness, as we all get stuck in this place of  "everyday".

So how do you do it? How do you create this feeling of aliveness in your life? How do you explore all of your other selves? Okcupid? Maybe.

For me, so much happened literally on the massage table working with different Sexological Bodyworkers and attending retreats that created safe spaces for me to explore who I was in different situations. It changed everything for me; my relationship with my body, my relationship with my food (cured an eating disorder - I think I was like a bored bird plucking at it's own feathers), my relationship with my desires and my erotic expression.

I was literally reborn and living a very alive life.  I continue to plan for my pleasure and make it happen as well as help other women do it too.

I support other women to explore their sexuality, renew their feelings of aliveness, and experience their "other selves" through:

Back to the Body: Sensuous Retreats For Women

Private coaching where I support them in creating their own "Pleasure Plan" and learn new ways to create and keep these new found feelings in their bodies

Supporting women on their own journey working with Sexological Bodyworkers.

Right now there is a lot of hot going on; so many opportunities where you can explore you own desires for a new sense of aliveness.

Are you ready for that?

Email me to arrange a free consultation and I will not only hear your story, but I will tell you about all the very cool stuff that is happening between now and October! Just do it, email me at  Pamela@backtothebody.org and put Aliveness in your subject line.

I am creative and determined to support you in moving the obstacles out of your way so you can experience all of the other selves that are in you.

Loving you from here,

Pamela

 

 

 

What Kind of Woman Attends a Back to The Body Retreat?

"Know that the gifts you are giving are the kind that keep on giving, like a well seasoned meal that can be savored for a long time. Each of you offered gentle support and a safe place to work. Your example of bravery were inspiring. There's a lot to take home, memories to savor, lessons to be launched. You are my teacher.  Like a Sherpa guiding us to the mountain top. Thank you for the new and beautiful view!" - Back To the Body February Graduate The team at Back to the Body: Sensuous Retreats for Women is now offering our eighth retreat at our home nest in Victoria, BC.

So....what kind of woman comes to a Back to the Body Retreat?

  • Passionate and Powerful in their own lives
  • And they are ready for even more! They want to go deeper into being more of who they already are.
  • Personal growth is important to them.
  • They are curious about their own sexuality. They want to know more and go deeper. They already know on some level that their sexuality may the missing or essential link to a more fulfilling life.
  • They are interested in using sexual energy as a life force fuel.
  • They are ready to heal sexual wounds and shame.
  • They may be experiencing mid life changes such as menopause, divorce  or job changes.
  • They are ready to experience all that their bodies are able to offer them.
  • They want to play and have more pleasure in their lives.

Tell me more:

Many of our clients are simply curious. They want to learn more about their bodies and feel dis-empowered or disconnected from their own physical selves. Their relationship with their sexuality and their bodies have finally made it up the “bucket list”.  Sometimes they don’t have partners, or if they do have partners they don’t feel that their partners are meeting their sexual needs. My clients often feel unsupported and unappreciated sexually and want to have more pleasure in their lives.

Many are looking for safe ways to explore being more sexually adventurous either on their own or within a coupled relationship. Some of my clients are actively looking for a partner, and are looking inside their own sexual expression to see if the hold up is inside their own relationship with their bodies.

Some of our clients are not having the orgasms that they wish to have, and want to be able to explore their sexual desires in a way that will not bring them shame or ruin their lives.

Many of our clients are at war with their bodies. They want to love themselves deeply and don’t know how to. They get stuck when it becomes time to speak up for the desires, and often end up enduring sex rather than loving sex. They are ready to prioritize  sex in their lives, and often want to experience new sexual experiences. Our clients know that there is more to sex than they are having, and they are ready to figure out what that is. Most of our clients are in their 30's, 40's, 50's and 60's.

We are devoted to assisting you on your own individual journey to sexual empowerment, freedom and pleasure.

To learn more about the complete program please visit our website here.

We would love for you to consider joining us for our 8th retreat in Victoria, BC on July 3 through July 7. Retreats are limited to six women. There is one spot left for our July Retreat. Payment plans are available. http://www.backtothebody.org/

Email Pamela at Pamela@backtothebody.org to set up a free consultation.
And we have lots of graduates that are will than willing to speak with you!

Meditation and Sexuality a Newly Discovered Link

One of the first things that I teach, when I work with anyone around their sexuality is the link between sex and a clear mind. Sex requires our presence, not numbing out. The best sex requires of us that we are fully in our bodies, and alive to the possibility of sensation. or skin awareness. As we awaken away numbness we are actually able to experience the softest of touches as electric vibrations through our entire body. If you think you're erotically numb, hormonally challenged or simply "over sex", this does not have to be. Erotic numbness is reversible and it begins with reawakening our ability to feel arousal.

Arousal is a state that not only fuels our creative engines, but can be enjoyed from our genitals up through our hearts and throughout our bodies. Now, what does this have to do with meditation?

It's really difficult to feel sexual arousal if our minds are busy and our thoughts are interfering. This is where meditative states can be incredibly useful. When we can quiet the mind and connect to our genitals—we are able to feel deeply into our bodies in ways that we may never have experienced before. Sometimes, it's in these quiet genital connections that we are able to find the source of any blockages to pleasure and our relationship with our own bodies. But we have to be quiet and tuned in enough to be able to listen.

If we can learn to clear our minds and connect to our genitals this can be a path to full awakening. And when I say full awakening; I'm talking about mind, body and spirit.

I discovered all of this on my own at the feet of Dr. Deepak Chopra when I attended "Journey to Healing" and combined that experience with my knowledge as a sexuality coach that believed in somatic or through the sexual body healing.

Meditation is the perfect entry point to many profound sexual experiences. Successful meditation and successful sex all start with the same three key entry points:

1. Get comfortable.

2. Slow down.

3. Connect to the breath.

When we are able to approach sex just like we approach meditation (without rushing to go somewhere fast) we are able to touch deeply ecstatic or erotic states where we have "alterations in bodily perception" and a "diminution of self awareness" according to researcher Gemma O'Brien who studied the link between sexuality and meditation.

These shared experiences are found both in subjects deeply in meditation and in people having sexual experiences.

As I got more practiced at meditation, I was able to feel my ego dissolve along with my own general sense of self-awareness. As I floated into "the gap," the place that Deepak Chopra says is the place without words, I also noticed that I lost track of where my body was in place and time. Oh yeah, I have been in these places before and it was not in the lotus position!

Gemma O'Brien found that people meditating and having an orgasm both experience the afore mentioned "diminution of self-awareness" and "alterations in bodily perception."

According to the study, when you meditate, the left side of your brain becomes activated and when you engage in sexual activity, the right side of your brain runs the show. Both of these brain responses helps you to stop the constant thinking or talking in your brain. And herein lies the key—when you are able to stop the chatter, and float into what can be called "falling into the gap," "states of higher consciousness," "erotic trance states" or even what is known as "sub space" your brain helps you by allowing you to lose physical and mental boundaries. That is where we can find enlightenment or dare I say it—bliss.

Our busy lives takes us to a place where we live all the time in our thoughts. When we are run by our thoughts we can lose connection with our bodies. This is known as "sensory amnesia" and is a feeling of not being able to give presence to our bodies. It's possible to reclaim our bodies and our sexuality. I have seen the practice of meditation and the combination of meditative states with the addition of touch create incredible openings in the lives of women.

We can regain our own sense of our bodies and begin to shed our numbness.

What to do next?

Like this blog, leave a comment and share it!

Do You Want To Learn More?

Check our my guided sexuality meditation

Watch My Video:  The Arousal Principle

How Do You Feel Sexy?

Yesterday, was a big day for me. I did a "HuffPost Live" on meditation supporting your sex life. If you missed it; you can watch it here.

I was also brought in as a consultant to a big company that wanted insights into what made women feel good about themselves. What makes a woman feel sexy?

I think it's all about how we are able to "Pre-Heat" our own oven. But of course that begs the question; "How do we get that feeling in our own bodies and then how do we  sustain that feeling?

I love questions that ask "How?"  The honest truth is that on most days, for many women — our self image can really take a beating.

Many of us want to be seen as hot and sexy. And perhaps most of all, we want to feel like those women look in those women's magazines sipping a Margarita with knowing smoky eyes. We just know that they are about to have the most incredible experiences in the universe. Right? Maybe? Who knows but sometimes I feel confronted by them.

Seeing those images can make me feel just not enough. More than that — it is this feeling that I will never have in my life what I truly want because I don't look like that.  Heck, I got confronted with that on "HuffPost Live"!!!

There I was on my home computer with a bad computer angle while Emily the other woman being interviewed was this "glamorous" former Broadway actress! She had the make up, the perfect face and perfect body. And there I was in poor lighting not done up at all talking about feeling sexy! Wowsa!

But I sunk into my own practice and told myself just to feel it. And in the end - I did fine. But I was actually practicing on live video stream.

And it really doesn't matter how old you are, it can be really hard to look like the images of women that we are surrounded with on a daily basis. This is not news. But it's impact on women is still real.

And what is it that I want, and what many women want? It's a simple thing really...I want to be deeply desired, and feel free in my body. I want to be able to know that I am sexy from the inside out and truly believe it — all the time! I want to be able to walk around naked and not worry about my behind shaking in a bad way.  Perhaps this is simply universal. After all, I coach hundreds of women and they want it too — very badly. This is what I hear from some of my clients:

"I want to get so lost in my own wanton sexiness that orgasms flow from me like a waterfall. I don't want much — I just want to dance in my own inner sexy wildness! Is that asking for so much?"

I get it.

As I just shared, I have moments of feeling confronted with my own self loathing. It is shocking that I can still go to those places of calling myself names. After all, this true confession is being spoken by a woman who has professed to the world that I have conquered body shame and self acceptance by embracing my sexual pleasuare.

Am I a fraud — or am I simply real and honest? The fact is, that I have healed so much of the damage that I have walked around with for most of my life when it comes to my body image and my sexuality.

But everyday, when I wake up and my feet touch the ground, it takes a little bit of courage to love myself just as I am — and that is the truth. To say anything else would be to over promise healing like those 30 day miracle diets on television.

Recently in The Wall Street Journal was a great article, "Conquering Fear," which is all about those nasty little voices in our heads that tell us that we are not enough — that we are fat and stupid. That our bodies are ugly and that our boss hates us.

I know those tapes so well that I could sing along! My book Shameless: How I Ditched The Diet, Got Naked, Found True Pleasure and Somehow Got Home in Time to Cook Dinner is all about my funny, sexy, unconventional path to falling in love with myself again in the most unbelievable way... And I did.

But on my book tour  there were all of these videos being made of me so that people can get to know me — and I get to watch them over and over again.

Every time I watch them — I get taken out of how I was "feeling" when I made those videos and I get stuck in how I believe I look. I hate my neck. My face is too round. I have a double chin in that angle. And I stop feeling sexy. Instead I get filled with self doubt and worry.

You see — I am a real woman. Isn't that reassuring? I am not going to give you pleasure platitudes and tell you that if you do this or that all of your inner fears will go away completely. They don't. But it can get better.

This is what I can promise. If you work on embracing who you are,  every single day just like a religious practice — things will change in your world.

In so many ways, it is like developing a healthy eating and exercising plan. There is a lot of self-encouragement and coaching that has to happen. I have to do it too — even now.

The voices of fear that tell us that we are not enough — or are broken in some way — don't ever really go completely away. But it gets better.

I hope that by showing up and being honest about how I feel and how I move through all of the hatefulness that I can throw at myself will inspire you to do it too. The fact is that most of the time these days — I feel smoking! I have a swagger to my step  and kick to my heels. I dress like a diva with a wink! And I still feel bad about my neck a lot.  You see — I still  have really big moments of self loathing. It's all a part of the process...

Self loving is a practice. Feeling sexy is a practice. Let's practice together.

Loving you from here,

Pamela

Are You a Part of The Ten Percent?

Dear Shameless Beauty; Yesterday, I arrived in Seattle. I like to make a pit stop here and visit friends before I head to Victoria, BC. I am on my way to the February "Back to The Sensuous Retreat for Women". I got to share simple pleasures that are not so simple. Intimacy, laughter, and friendship.

Loving sacred community with all it's messiness and vulnerability. I have a soft spot in my heart for Seattle. Today is a day of 'more to come'. And it got me thinking. You see, I got to my day by sharing sharing "lotus lift meditation" with a girlfriend. What followed was a deep, sweet knowing conversation with another woman who knows what it is, and what it takes to have a relationship with one's own pussy as a life force energy.

Here's the truth ladies: having a relationship with your own pussy and through her your own erotic creature is a practice.

I am past 40, did the menopause thing, and I'm living a more sexually alive life than I ever had before.

It's all getting hotter - all the time. It's not about the hormones. I don't take any.

It's not about having socially acceptable body - I don't think I have one of those either.

It's not about so much that we are led to believe it's all about.

It's possible to have this by staying in connection with you own body which can be as simple as learning to hold your own pussy when you go to sleep at night, and wake up in the morning.

Learning to cultivate an ability to listen to and speak to your own genitals. And sometimes, that means being compassionate and bringing our genitals along to the party even when she doesn't really feel like it.

With some loving attention, our bodies can restore and come alive in ways that you cannot even imagine. I don't care where you are right now in your relationship sexuality. You can have more. I can have more. This is like our relationship with our own hearts. We can always uncover more and expand.

We just have to commit to start exactly where we are. I work with all kinds of women, and the women who commit to living a sexually alive life and are willing to practice even when they are not in the mood - are tapping into an energy in their body which is extraordinary.

I have begun to call these women "the ten percent". Because it's only about ten percent of the women who I come in contact with who are willing to truly go there, and keep going there. They are the ones who don't put stories and obstacles in their own way. The ones who think they have to lose weight first. Or figure out how to speak to their partners. Or believe that they don't have the money for this. There are so many obstacles that are really excuses for our own fear.

Perhaps it's the fear that if you try - it won't work. Perhaps it the fear that connecting to your own body will change your life. Then what?

Having a relationship with your own pussy IS huge. You are right.

And it's not only about having sex with another being. It is about how we are able to use arousal/sexual energy as a tool in our every day lives.

That's revolutionary.

Are you ready to start your own revolution? Start just where you are, and say hello to your genitals.

Loving you from here,

Pamela

My Little Round Belly

Recently, I spent a "VIP Day" with a client. We got naked together trying on lingerie because that was a part of what she wanted to do with me! Shop and play with lingerie. The best conversation of the day went like this: Client: "Wow. I feel so much better about my body now." Pamela: "What shifted for you?" Client: "Well, you have a little round belly. Just like me. And if YOU can have that and be this sexy, and this vibrant and desirable - then it's really okay for me to have that too!" Women healing body shame together. Priceless.

That interaction is what inspired me to create the Korean Spa Day and expand it to Seattle and the NYC area - because it's not just the fabulous intimate sexuality and intimacy coaching that is so valuable. It's not just the fun and the laughter and the pleasure of a body scrub massage, hot pools, steam and delicious food. It's being naked together that is so healing.

I hope if you live near Seattle or NJ that you will join me and my little round belly. To learn more about my Girls Day Out at the Korean Spa in Seattle or NJ - please go here!

Loving you from here,

Pamela

Join Pamela For a "Girls Day Out" at The Korean Spa in NJ and Seattle!

Dear Shameless Beauty, The journey began for me at a day out with the girls at a Korean Spa.  A day of getting naked and soaking in hot tubs with the girls. Getting scrubbed from top to bottom, meditating in fabulous crystal rooms and eating amazing Korean food. It's the ultimate "Girl's Day Out".

Now imagine doing this with me and a small group of like minded women! Do you like to laugh? Play? Talk about sex?

We will do all of that during our day together. And I will make sure that we take on:

Exercising our "wanting muscle"

Exploring our "Pleasure Ceilings"

Body Image and Sexuality

Speaking Our Desires

Creating a Pleasure Plan and Pleasure Manifesto

Sexological Body Work

Organic Orgasm

The Power of Arousal

Sex Magic

Relationships, Intimacy, Marriage and Dating

Fifty Shades of Grey Sex

And I will answer all of your intimate questions.

Details: Date: Friday, March 7th, 2014 at  King Spa 321 Commercial Avenue, Palisades Park, NJ

OR Friday, February 21st at  Olympus Spa, Lynnwood  WA

Time: 10:00 am to 5pm

The day includes:

Entry fee to Spa and access to all facilities

Massage and scrub

Foot massage or Alternate Treatment

Lunch

Snacks

And of course Pamela full on teaching, laughing and supporting you! Come retreat with me for the day, and get ready for the weekend in an entirely new way.

Imagine us playing, taking on the big and small stuff soaking in the pools, playing in the showers, sharing pleasure and possibility together.

Spots are limited: For more information and to hold your place - Please email Pamela at Pamela@backtothebody.org and put Shameless Girls Day Out in the subject line!

Are You "Performing" Sexy or "Being" Sexy?

I feel inspired to write this morning after reading a blog on Huffington Post entitled; "Are You Too Old to be Hot?" I'm just over the cusp of 50, and I'm sexy. The kind of sexy that flows out from my skin in this deep inside of me place that has a fire blazing out into the world that has nothing to do with "hot flashes".  My orgasms are bigger and over flowing (when I was younger I thought that I was too sensitive for more than one - or that my pleasure had a ceiling) into multiples of multiples.  I take up erotic space, which means that people tend to notice me when I walk into a room. And it doesn't scare me. I know that I am safe in my own body, because I trust my own ability to hold my own boundaries. Therefore, I can simply relax and enjoy the pleasure of sensual attention. Flirting is fun and a newly found sport that I love to play.

Younger men and older men flirt with me, and send out the vibes that they want me.  It's fun to feel this sexy and have my pheromones speak to the world. These feelings are playful and contribute to my own feelings of aliveness and happiness.

When I was 20, 30 and even 40 - I questioned my beauty and my sexiness. I compared myself to everyone instead of feeling who I was inside myself as a sexual being. I was thinner, firmer and probably more physically luscious at 20 than I am in my fifties.  Like most of us at a younger age - or even now - I never saw my own beauty and sexiness even though it is clearly reflected in the photographs of me.  I think that's because I was "performing sexy" not "being sexy.

And that is the key. Sexy is a feeling. And we can feel sexy at any age and in any body of any type. Really. You don't have to change on the outside to BE sexy. And what I have found, is that people who feel sexy ARE sexy at any age or body type.

What if you notice that you are "Performing" sexy instead of "Being" sexy. How do you quit the show and start actually becoming the hot sexy creature you want to be? It's a practice.  We need to practice feelings in order to get our body to begin to "be" on its own.  It's a big part of what I coach women on in my coaching practice. The ancient practices of connecting to our power source. So many women turn it off because they are told that those feelings are wrong - yet they are trained to put on all the performance attributes of sexy to attract mates. It's very confusing stuff.  Don't feel erotically hot, but look it so that you can attract a mate! Really? Really.

Now I am not posting this so you can say; "Well screw her. Goody for her! So glad for Pamela". Which you might....

I am posting this blog because I think we can all of this. I don't think I am special here.  Remember: Sexy is a feeling!

And if you are not feeling it - you can again. I totally believe that. I reclaimed my sexy at age 43 and I kept reclaiming it! I reclaim my sexy every damn day - and it only gets better!

Sexy is a practice.

So how do you get started?

Tips For Reconnecting to Sexy:

1. Start touching yourself. That's right - start touching your own genitals.  While self pleasuring is always good, I am not talking about active masturbation. I am talking about pussy holding and comforting. Pussy holding and connecting to your arousal. Watch this video on the "Arousal Principle".

2. Start looking at your obstacles to pleasure.

3. Learn to speak your desires!

4. Understanding "Anticipation" as a key to living a turned on life.

I hope that these videos and tips are helpful.

 

 

 

 

 

 

How Do You Want To Feel?

I spend a lot of time talking to woman about their core erotic desires and how they are able to bring them forward into their lives. What if we also bring in our core desired feeling? What is it that you really want to feel in your life? Can you name them? Mine are Creativity, feelings of being in communion (intimacy/communication), Belonging, Being wanted, Desire, Play, Abundance and Collaboration.

I love experiencing these core desired feelings in my life. They often come to me in different forms, just like my core erotic desires. If we don't take the time to explore them, welcome them into our lives, not judge them, and treat them with compassion - we may be losing out on joy.

And who wants to miss joy?

The Thrill of Uncertainty; The Comfort of Stability

I'm pondering relationship this morning. Falling in love is simple; one has only to yield to the passion. Digesting another person, however, and sustaining love AND the erotic is bloody work, and not a soft job. Intimacy turns into familiarity. Passion into being the ever present air that you breathe. You are necessary but not always noticed. But just try holding your breath. Do we really have to leave in order to be noticed? How do you desire, hunger for, and want what you already have?

The key may be in the balance of the thrill uncertainty and the comfort of stability as author, Esther Perel (Mating in Captivity) loves to state.  And you can create these experiences in your life - whether you are partnered or not (Yes, single people want this too - in their relationship to themselves or in their dating lives).

The key is creating these opportunities for uncertainty.  Suspending the need to know what will happen - and jumping.  And for some of us that may mean doing it with our partner or trusted experts to provide the stability in all of that exciting uncertainty!

That is why I have created retreats for women and couples along with my partners at "Back to The Body".

When we are partnered, the need to create excitement, adventure and uncertainty can be tricky without threatening the stability of the relationship. A private sensuous couple's retreat can provide all of these elements for a couple to touch that spark again.

The same can be true for single women for are craving excitement and uncertainty in their own erotic lives and it is not showing up in a way that feels stable or safe to them. Attending a "Back to the Body: Sensuous Retreat for Women" and traveling to Victoria, BC for our core program or Tuscany to be with us in our Villa can also provide the same incredible sexy thrill of erotic adventure while reconnecting them to their own sensuous energy.

Sometimes, it can be as simple and as crazy as attending a retreat around sexuality to create the magic and thrill of uncertainty while knowing that you are ultimately in a stable environment.  Kinda like swinging on a trapeze and knowing their is a net underneath you!

Want to talk about it? Send me an email at Pamela@backtothebody.org and I would be happy to discuss creating a thrilling, sexy adventure for you and your beloved  whether that is another human being - or your beautiful self!

 

Suspending The Need To Be Certain....

This morning Danielle LaPorte inspired me with one of her "Truth Bombs" in my morning email. She wrote: "Suspending the need to be certain is an act of enlightenment." I really liked that and it got me thinking. When we suspend our need to be certain it's also an act of courage, love and faith. In the work that I do,  women (and sometimes couples) are rarely certain about whether sexuality and intimacy coaching, attending a "Back to The Body Retreat", or creating a private mini retreat for themselves or their partners is the right thing for them.  They can spend time talking with me to see if they feel comfortable and if working with me "feels right". They can talk to other women who have done this work. But in the end they have to suspend their need to be certain and just commit to trying.

It can feel crazy brave to take on your own sexuality. But what do you secretly want to happen in your own life? It sometimes, can only happen if we persuade our inhibitions and try.

Are you ready?

Let's talk. Shoot me an email from the contact form, or Pamela@backtothebody.org. Consultations are complimentary.

Loving you from here,

Pamela

 

Do You Have a Pleasure Ceiling?

It's sometimes true. The women that I coach and support around sexuality teach me through their openness in sharing their feelings. It happened again, just other day. I was in the middle of working with an extraordinary 40 year old female client around building her "Pleasure Plan". We were in the midst of talking about orgasms and self pleasuring as a way of her exploring and expanding her pleasure.  I had given her an assignment during the session to try on during the week between our calls.  The assignment  felt really big for her, because she was like most people. Self Pleasuring (masturbation) followed the "Quiet and Quick Rule".  How quickly could she self pleasure and how quietly. A married woman - she tried to sneak in her self pleasure around a husband not catching her.

We spoke about how she was treating her own sexuality the way a not so polite lover might treat her.  She never romanced herself before she took out the vibrator to "get off".  There was no sexy self talk, no hot bubble bath, no loving self massage with favorites oils. She didn't even take the time to get undressed.  She and I were laughing hysterically as we compared her treatment of her own vagina over and over again to that of an inconsiderate lover who just wanted to come and take what he wanted and get out.  She never stayed with her own sexual excitement long enough to see if there was perhaps more pleasure to be found. After all, she had got what she had come for....why wait around to see if her body wanted more pleasure or not?

"I think I have a pleasure ceiling" my client said.  Wow a "Pleasure Ceiling"! I loved the term that just flew out of her mouth in a moment of epiphany. "Yes, I think that I worry that if I have too much pleasure that something bad will happen like I will stop being responsible or something. Or I will go off the rails. It's not just sex it's also food, or dancing - anywhere I have pleasure. I always cut it short. I have to be responsible and leave early so I can make sure that I won't be late for work in the morning.  Or worse - just ditch it all for pleasure. So I think I keep it under wraps."

Holy Guacamole! My client had nailed it - and she was speaking for so people.  We have installed "Pleasure Ceilings" because if we don't-  we might "go off the rails".  It's such an interesting story that so many of us have created around our own pleasure.  Somehow, if our pleasure goes too far - it will wreak our lives.  Of course I am the Queen of removing pleasure ceilings and proving that it will not wreak your life - in fact it will transform you life.

My client and I sat with each other a while, and I asked her if she was going to be able to do her assignment of expanding her self pleasure the way discussed. She looked at me with her dark open eyes and said; "Sometimes I say to myself; Self - what made you think you can do this? Take it to another level? Experience something more? And then, I get kinda angry with myself! Why not? I've got the goods to do it! It's about time! Well, why not me? It's time to move my pleasure ceiling."

So where are the "Pleasure Ceilings" in your life? Where are you frightened that if you moved them up higher, or break them down completely that something awful will happen? I promise you that things might change, transform and look different - that's true. But I bet the view will be so much more beautiful with a sun roof.

Loving you from here,

Pamela

 

 

The ReBirthing of You

You are going to start hearing the word "reBirthing" from me a lot. Right next to "Back to The Body" because I think it's about our bodies and the constant ability to allow a new self to come through. It is about change and transformation which is something that I am devoting my life to. Not just for you - as a coach, muse, and educator. But for me. I am constantly looking at who I am, and the patterns that make up my life. I am a change and transformation junkie - and it's not always easy.  There may be labor pains.  You may need support. Tons of it. When I am in the midst of a Rebirthing of my own self, I call in the troops to support me. I'm doing that right now in my own life. Sometimes, I scream with the pain of my own labor as I allow my newest powerful Pamela to come forth. Sometimes, I don't get the help I ask for. And sometimes, I do. This is reBirth and not everyone can hold you. You need to find the people that can and surround yourself with them. And like any labor, it will be worth it. That I can promise you.

I can't believe that in my life of change and transformation that I am approaching a new frontier again. Didn't I just do that? But here it is,  a new frontier with new ideas and responses. My priorities are changing.

What about you? Here are a few of the tell tale signs that you are about to shed a skin and reinvent yourself again:

* an impulsive decision to do something out of character

*a willingness to take a calculated risk into the unknown

*a determination to make contact with ones' authentic self and tap into the true passion there

*a desire to become a source of truth about life for the next generation

*the delicious freedom of looking the latest expectation in a life time of expectation in the eye and saying "not me, not now!"

Do you feel the twitch? Perhaps that's why you hang out with me. Because I love to ask the question; "What's next?" Maybe you find that question challenging and exciting.  You might find that in this new place that you let go of drawing from your past experiences. What was, may no longer fit all. As the journey goes forward you may need to get to know this new persona a little bit. Welcome your new outlook, new confidence, new dreams. We are not programmed to fade away. As we move into this place of rebirthing ourselves, we might find that we are better suited to new challenges than we ever were in the past. As you move forward in your new explorations, this unfamiliar persona, this mischievous Tinkerbell at our ear, matures into the voice we count on most. It gets stronger, more authoritative , more philosophical, more courageous.

People rebirthing themselves, in their second adult hood are different than anyone else. They tell the truth.

Listen to your voice. Listen to your body.

Loving you from here,

Pamela

I'm Not a Goddess

I have a confession to make. I'm not a Goddess. Honestly, I don't think I ever was. But everyone loves the idea of being a "Goddess" and calling each other "Sister Goddess". It's like "the thing". Especially among new age sex educators and their flock. So, I do it. If it makes you feel sexually empowered to be called a Goddess: then poof you are a Goddess. At Back to the Body: Sensuous Retreats for Women, we often call the women Goddesses. It's meant in a loving and playful way. We want to permission women to be in their full body expression and to feel powerful. and if calling yourself a Goddess gives you permission and empowerment, then why the fuck not? Embrace it. Be a Goddess.

But I'm not a Goddess. I am a very unusual and very normal woman. I understand to you that I may not seem normal - but to me that is who I am. I am sometimes insecure about so many things. My normality and fears runs the spectrum from weight and aging to my ability to create the life I want. I have kids. I worry about them. I have friendships and an expanded sexuality that can put me through my paces. I have a marriage of 32 years.

If I think of myself in grander terms, I'm the Queen of my own life. I have the power to put into motion the kind of life that I want to live. I am magical like that. I can choose what I'm willing to show up for, and I can disappear. I can bring you into my court - or I can banish you. I have the power to live as fully as I want to. Queens can give gifts and she can surrender her kingdom. Queens can also be betrayed, lose their lands and have their hearts broken. Queens are both powerful and vulnerable. And yes, I suppose the same could be said for Goddesses.

But I am mortal. I am a woman. I take the trash out. I get that this confession may make me way too normal for you. But for me, my life is pretty sexy.

What about you?

Loving you from here,

Pamela

What's Your Excuse For Playing Small?

Many of you say that you want to do so many things! You want to travel to India, find inner peace, have a healthy and delicious relationship with your own body and have an extraordinary sex life. You say that you want to "find your orgasm", raise your libido, learn how to attract a lover or relight the fire on the relationship that you currently have.

If you want something this badly - why don't you do it?

Enter your ubiquitous companion: FEAR.

You are terrified of failing. So many of you have tried one or two things to create a change in your life - and change is hard! It takes practice and you may not have hit on "The Thing" that is really going to nail it for you.  You decide that your efforts have failed, and you don't want to fail again. How you perceive failure is a game changer. What if you saw each step that you took on your way to your desires as a step on the road to success? A great big success! Forget the all or nothing mentality! That, quite frankly, is bullshit.

Allow yourself the pleasure of all of your small steps, and see each positive motion as a celebration, because it is.

What else do you use to hold yourself back from getting what you really want in your life?  You play small.

I know all the excuses: you want happiness, but you are not going to pay fifty bucks for that meditation series by that top teacher that might support your path - because come on it's fifty bucks! You want happiness -  it's the most important thing in the world to you, but you are not going to pay for it.  But go on - buy those new boots!

Money is the biggest excuse that people use to stop them from getting what they want. You want to  make big changes, and then you look at the price tag and say you can't afford it. I wonder a lot about that.  In my mind - how can you afford not to?  People always find a way to pay for what they truly think is important in their lives.

You see, you do not have to be anywhere near wealthy. But to live a big life, it takes something other than money. It takes courage and a desire for more that is way bigger than your fear of what you could gain if you stopped playing small. That's right - "Playing Small". What would happen if you actually healed your relationship with your own sexuality? You might get bigger. Then what?  You can remove the obstacle and open the gate. It is really about finding your courage.

Marianne Williamson says it so beautifully in "A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of "A Course in Miracles".

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

So, what excuse are you using? Are you waiting to be thinner? Do you think that what you need to help support you is out of your financial range? Do you allow your partner to hold your back? Do you think you are too old? Do you think  you can't  have what you want in your life right now because you have young  kids?

What  excuse are you using for not facing your fear?

Find it. Look at it. And then decide if you really want to live the kind of life that you tell yourself that you want.

Do you want to find inner happiness? Do you want a healthy, extraordinary relationship with your body? Do you want more abundance in your life? Do you want a better relationship with yourself?

Does this scare the crap out of you?

It might. Because changing any relationship with yourself will create feelings and reactions that are not only very scary - they will remove you far from your comfort zone.   It is far more comfortable to aspire and complain than it is to actually do anything that will help create the life you say you want. You know where you are and somehow it feels safe to you,  even if you know you can have more. Even if you are dying to have something different in your life.

Think about it. Is this true for you?  And then decide if you really want to play small? Notice that your excuses are really your fear talking.

What do you want?

Loving you from here,

Pamela

Got Comments? Do it here on the live blog!

What to ditch playing small? Wonder what it might be like to have me on your team? Send me an email and let's talk about how I can support you in getting what you want - Pamela@Beingshameless.com

Want more inspiration?

Watch this short video with me speaking about how you can find your own true pleasure:

Read my story about how I stopped playing small in my memoir - "Shameless: How I Ditched The Diet, Got Naked Found True Pleasure and Somehow Got Home in Time to Cook Dinner".